It’s true.

Sometimes I revert back to my whole “I’m miserable and angry and nothing can make it better” point of view and that’s a little awkward…because I’m not miserable or angry. I’m content with my life, but I still can’t drop these random bursts of negative energy that had  plagued me constantly just a few months ago. Even though I have people who care about me, I feel like I have no one. Even though I’m in love, I still feel like I’m being used and will be tossed aside and forgotten. These are the moments I hate, the feelings I wish would just go away for good. I don’t understand.

Once you go Zach, you never go back.

• To be skinny; although I’d rather eat a steak than a salad any day. I eat really healthy and work out every day, but unless I starve myself, I lose no weight. I guess it’s genetics working against me.
• To actually reach some of my goals. I’ve noticed that no matter how hard I work, I reach maybe 50% of the goals that I make. It’s disappointing.
• To be in love forever. I don’t want to be one of those couples that stays together out of habit and comfort. I never want the fire to die. I will do anything to keep it alive.
• I want Zach to move closer to me so that I’m not lonely all of the time. I know that he plans to, but I’m still scared that plans will fall through and I’ll have to spend more time missing him.
• To travel the world with the person that I love the most before I finally settle down and have kids. 
• To move out as soon as possible. 
• A hug.

& I know that it’s just the stress getting to me but I haven’t found a relaxation technique that works, so I’m just going to continue to live in a state of anxiety until I fall apart. 

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.